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Qu. What do you get if you cross Billy McGintys goat with Paddy P ?

Ans. 'Paddy McGintys goat'

An infamous beast once known for terrorising the ladies of Killiloo and who ate Mickey Rileys £20 note, when they tried to retrieve said note by means of a stomach pump all they got back was ninepence?

Moral of the tale... Don't throw good money after bad !

Ed....
No Innuendo at all.

I hear Holywood are spending like a drunken sailor in Dubarry's on 24 hour shore leave.....

Plenty of ££££'s floating about Section 1 this weather....
Seems like I've retired too early AGAIN !!
After years of moaning and coins in the glass at the NCU dinner it now seems that the lads from Cultra have adopted the mantra of their near neighbours at Belmont with a 'pay as you play' attitude.
PaddyP's comments should be interesting on this subject !

Yes Ivan credit to all involved, J8 now known as the Sunday league sorted in record time.

Colin I'm glad your fears didn't materialise . To get everything sorted and all away by 8pm was a great effort. Well done to us all.

Why are the ladies fixtures sorted before the men's fixtures have been thrashed out in the junior leagues interesting if there is a clash and both are at home

Junior 5-8 fixture meeting on Tuesday night.

Purely my own request not speaking on behalf of my club but are there any clubs who are playing in J8 happy with the 1 game per team format?

Is there any chance that the league could be split in two with H & A or is there no interest?

Failing that would it be possible to stagger the fixture meeting with possibly J8 starting at 8.00pm giving clubs with teams in j5-7 a chance to get fixtures and grounds sorted so that those of us in the bottom tier can come up with a plan of action.

I know it's not easy and failure to fulfill fixtures in what was J9 will be mentioned as a reason for the new structure but this is likely to be a long meeting.

In the following story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.

The Amoeba x 3

There grew three amoeba
down at Vic's cricket club,
one could tell by their look
they were fond of the grub!

Unknown strains, scientifically unique
ungracious, unruly, devoid of tact
England to the core but mention Irish cricket
and your health they'd attack!

So it came round, England drew Ireland
at the 2011 cricket World Cup,
those amoebas grew anxious,
emitting a putrefying stink with each, 'tut tut'

Just because one side play test cricket
the other an associate nation,
and dare England lose, such an upset
would result in world deflation ?

But cricket's a funny old game
quite often, it will throw up a twist,
and England got hammered by a nation
the amoeba claimed, didn't exist?

Yes, Ireland's Kevin O'Brien
bate the pommes all over the place,
and the three went berserk,
turning first green, then red in the face!

But Vic had a plan, on how to get rid
of such germs, like found down a loo,
for none could put up with their stink,
if England failed to get through?

He told them dumb-ass Amoebas
some silly old spake,
England's Paul Collingwood,
was feeding the ducks down by the lake?

Off they slithered down
to the water's edge very quick,
each wanting to get first,
to the Englishman for a lick!

So when all had gathered together,
Vic knew, he'd got'em,
shoved them into the water,
and watched them sink to the bottom!

Now despite big bellies and egos,
we all know darn well,
the Amoeba's a simple life form,
and has only one brain cell!

It will live quite happily,
on the base of a pond,
with its friends the bacteria,
leeches, toad and frog spawn!

Now please don't worry yourself
about the Amoeba x three,
they say that pond life,
enjoys its own company?

Down by the lake,
their voices can be heard,
still blabbing away,
about the bizarre and absurd?

Never again to resurface
or come within reach,
for although very dumb
they know Vic will be waiting...With a bottle of bleach!

(amoeba :
a single-celled animal which catches food and moves about by extending finger-like projections of protoplasm. Amoebas are either free-living in damp environments or parasitic.)

Is the Premier League stat zone, which was great for recruitment, going to be down for much longer ? Its been weeks since it last worked

http://www.cricketeurope4.net/NORTHERN/ZONESTATISTICS/2016Premier.html

Fair point Sam - if I had made the same point about CI some nom de plume would have been on lambasting me for criticising CIYMS ( aka as Come In Yer Ma's Shouting back in the old rugby days).

Fire sale at Cricket Ireland?
I learnt on tv last week that in teen text speak KPC means 'keeping parents clueless'
I'm sure some out there can come up with appropriate variations on this to cover the latest CI sponsorship withdrawal by KPC on the grounds of 'a change of strategic objectives'!

I can't believe I was alone in wondering how a hospital owning Bangladeshi living in California ever saw CI as sharing his 'strategic objectives' or indeed that CI bought it.
But of course beggars can't be choosers.

I'm sure there's a big store full of branded kit somewhere that's going to make it into the January Sales.
Prime consideration in 'choosing' a new sponsor should be the ease with which their logo can be overprinted.

re: Clarence Hiles. Can't keep a good man down!

Best wishes for Christmas and the New year. I have a lot to be thankful for this year and particular my thanks to our sponsors, advertisers, supporters and forum posters. Even when we disagreed we still listened to everything!
A big thanks you to Clare and Steven who handled the UC with everything during my illness and I'm humbled with the hundreds of good wishes in Facebook and emails. There is no price for good friends and the prayers all over the world.

Mike certainly hasn't been holidaying up round here! He wouldn't get far before he'd be seen so anonymity! Congratulations to our NIACUS colleague Ollie Thorpe on featuring in the ACO winter magazine.

I'm not so sure 'Mike.'
However, I will protect your anonymity if you confirm your status. At least we can clarify this point irrespective whether it is mischievous or other. You certainly haven't been holidaying in Buckna or Barbados recently.